Well I have no idea why I have started this!!! That's not true, I know exactly why I started this. I was called to. Not by my wife or friends or work. No, by God! And I hate writing. I hate journaling, I hate diaries, I hate prepared speeches, I hate all that kind of stuff.
I do love to talk though. Some would say a little too much. But I like to talk in small groups or one on one. And I like to talk about stuff I know or and good at. Stuff that I am really passionate about. So I guess this makes sense, in a twisted God will move me kind of way. He knows what i need and what i need to do. I need to tell others what he has been teaching me. ANd I need to use a way
You see I'm a hard case. God has had to do a lot of work to get me where I am now. And do it with a lot of resistance on my part. I don't really want to change. I'm comfortable right where I am, thank you very much. But God know I can't stay here. To stay here is to die or worse become useless to God. You see it is all about His glory, His majesty, His strength, His light. Not mine. I need to be reminded daily that I am not God. I doubt God has the same problem. I don't think he wakes up thinking he is me. He does thin ABOUT me a lot. I'm on His mind. That is one of the things that He has taught me over the last couple of years.
And it got me thinking. If He is thinking about me maybe I should be thinking about Him. This has started me down a difficult road. One that I thought I had a good handle on, but find that I know little to nothing about what He wants from me. And what is it He wants from me? He wants me to be a Real Man! Yup that's it. Seems kind of simple at first. But when you start looking at all the measuring sticks that are used to judge a REAL MAN, you begin to see the problem. It is IMPOSSIBLE.
Or so I use to think. But then again, I use to think a lot about myself and not about God. That was my first big mistake. You see I thought is was all up to me. I had to do it all alone. How far from the truth that was. I still have to participate, but God does all the heavy lifting, all the real work. I just get to share in the outcome. Oh I still have stuff to do, stay aligned with Him, listen for His voice, do what He asks me to do no matter how it sounds.
Awhile back I answered a Facebook thread a friend put up about being a Dad vs. being a father. God had been teaching me some stuff at that time and I kind of liked what I wrote. The thread was titled "Anyone can be a father but it takes a Real Man to be a Dad. This got me thinking about the idea of being a real man and I wrote: 'Then again Real men are forged in the fires of adversity, not born into privilege and entitlement. Real men don't look at Fatherhood as a chore, but as an adventure and a challenge worthy of their time and effort. Real men know the meanings of the words DUTY, HONOR, SELFLESSNESS and practice them daily. Lets all stand up and shout: "I WILL BE A REAL MAN" '
And that is where I am going. I'm journeying down this road that God is leading me on. Thankfully I am not doing it alone, though at times it is intensely personal, I am sharing this road with a few other men who have decided that they as well want to be Real Men and Real men don't retreat!
